lost and found

Oh God!

Er yes? Can I help?

Oh you again... no, I was just feeling annoyed.

So you decided to vent your anger?

Yes.

And "Oh God" is your way of expressing frustration?

I'm ashamed to say it is.

Why?

What what?

Why are you ashamed to say it?

Well it's wrong, isn't it.

Wrong?

Well obviously it's wrong. It's hardly God's fault that I'm angry.

Depends on your God.

What do you mean?

Well, if your God is a trickster and likes to annoy or upset you - is the root cause of your annoyance - then no - it would be perfectly rational and reasonable to blame God.

But that's not how I see God.

You sure?

Yes - God is good and kind, merciful and compassionate. God is all love.

Ok - that's the official version, but in reality, if it's "Oh God" everytime something bad happens, then like it or not, you're making a kind of Freudian slip, admitting that God has dumped you in doo doo, and left you out of your depth, in an untenable situation.

Oh dear - I see what you mean. That makes me feel even worse.

Why so?

Because how could I blame God?

Maybe you should stop blaming yourself and that would make it easier to stop blaming God.

What's the connection?

A deep connection - you and God were never as far apart as you might like to imagine.

But I love the idea of being close to God.

Yes, the "idea", but how about the reality of being close or even one with God.

One with God - that sounds a bit over the top. I mean - God is God.

And you're not?

No - I'm just me - and I turn to God when I'm out of my depth.

To secretly blame him for letting you get out of your depth.

Well yes - apparently so - but that's my mistake. I don't want to blame anyone for my failings.

Wait a second - if you're really out of your depth then let's assume that it's as much God's fault as yours.

No, wait a minute - that's absurd. God is blameless.

By definition - but it all depends which God you're dealing with.

The one and only God. Emmanuel. The Lord Jesus. God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jehovah. That one.

Well, already that's several different versions - even if they're all trying to describe the same thing.

I object. The names may differ but that doesn't mean there are different Gods.

True. And yet different names indicate that God is big - like a mountain - and approaching it from one side is not the same as approaching from another. The vegetation, the slope, the climate, everything can be different.

But what's all this leading to. You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

Know your God.

I thought it was "know yourself."

It was, but now I say "know your God".

But why?

Because you need to know what you're dealing with. You may assume you're praying to God - but if in your moments of stress and frustration you find yourself indirectly blaming God - it means that your idea of God is a capricious deity that deliberately messes up your life. If that's your idea of God - then that's the God you are currently dealing with, regardless of what you may like to imagine. You'll probably find yourself trying to assuage his anger. Trying to win him to your side, but it's all coming from the position of God the unloving - and no amount of prayer is going to alter that.

So what am I meant to do?

Be honest. If you're currently working with a malevolent or capricious deity, then you might wish to consider ending that connection and getting back to the fundamentals.

Er...

You might consider an alternative.

To God?

To resentment, blame, anger, frustration, fear or hate. None of these are good - and if they are lurking under the surface or behind the God figure you're in the habit of appealing to, consider issuing a cease and desist order and being rid of it.

But I don't want to be rid of God.

Fair enough. You can't be rid of what God truly is even if you tried.

No?

Not if God is life itself, love, truth, light, compassion... these are everywhere and in everything, no matter how well concealed they may appear to be.

So no God - your saying.

Yes - better no God than a bad God. God will always emerge when you're ready for it - when you're ready to start embracing the love, the truth, the light itself with an open heart - to engage them consciously as a living presence.

But that sounds like I'm creating God.

Does it? I think it sounds like finding.

Finding what I lost. So I have to start by admitting I lost God - even though I continue to invoke him.

Yes. You lost him but you didn't want to admit it. So a little honesty is called for. Once you can in all honesty say "dear God - I realise I've lost you. That makes me feel bad - but I haven't lost my love of that which is good - so I know you are still with me though silent and invisible. I pray that some day I'll find you in person."

Oh.

That's all there is to it. Nothing lost, nothing gained.

god talk radio

and our guest tonight is the one and only, the ineffable, the indescribable god. er... sorry for the uncapitalised "g" god - please don't take it personally - this blog doesn't seem to accept capital letters.

no worries Miles.

oh wow - how did you do that?

do whAt?

capitalise the m in miles.

oh You know - one of the perks of the job.

so that's how you see it, is it - a job?

well it's a job like any other. it has its ups and downs but I can't complain - I chose it after all and there's no other job I'd rather be doing right now.

you mean you can change jobs if you feel like it?

of course I can. ultimately we are all free to choose.

but if you decide you want to change - who takes over?

I have no idea. I haven't got round to changing yet.

but doesn't that bother you - not knowing the procedure - not knowing if you can just quit without causing havoc.

not in the least.

but why not? surely you care...

care about what?

about your work.

yes, of course I do, but I don't care about the future because I know it has nothing to do with me, and I don't care about what might happen because I know that things have an uncanny knack of working out for the best.

they do?

sure they do.

but supposing you quit and the universe just collapsed into chaos.

it's not unreasonable to suppose that might happen. I do seem to play a fairly major role in keeping things going.

well there you go - doesn't it bother you that your good work might not be preserved.

no, Miles. it bothers you, and I know why, but I don't think it's my job to tell you the reason. half the fun of being alive is working things out for yourself. now, if instead of wondering why I don't see things the way you do, you could direct your energies to allowing yourself to see things the way I do, you and your readers would get more from this conversation.

yes, but how can we? that would put us on a par with god.

well, you have the choice - either to rise to the occasion and put yourself on a par with me, or to insist on dragging me down to the level that you currently think at - no disrespect intended. you see, if instead of wondering why I don't think the way you do, you allow yourself to start seeing how I see and thinking as I think, you'll get a fresh perspective. it doesn't mean you can't go back to seeing and thinking the usual way after this conversation - but give yourself a break from the usual routine - try visiting my perspective. travel broadens the mind.

ok god - thanks for the invitation. I always assumed it was wrong to presume to put myself in your shoes.

and why would that be? children always try to emulate their parents, to be like them, talk like them, walk like them, think and act like them. it doesn't stop them from being children but it does help their development.

ok, point taken. well, being god you know that whatever you do will be for the highest good - so if you decide to quit your job as god of this universe, either someone else will replace you, or this universe is no longer required and can fold itself back into the cosmic void.

oh how refreshing to hear you thinking like me. say a little more, if you would, I think I'm learning something.

and being god you don't have our human hang ups about death and destruction. you see the whole picture and that nothing is truly created or destroyed - so whatever happens is only really happening from a limited human perspective. fundamentally all is one - even the universe and humanity.

wow. the "nothing is created or destroyed" that you said - doesn't that fly in the face of what you guys say about me creating the universe.

it does rather. I don't know why I said it. it must be wrong.

don't be so hasty. you spoke your truth and you did so in my presence, so it's technically impossible for you to be wrong.

it is?

yes - which means that there must be truth in what you said. so, although I'm referred to as "the creator" as indeed I am, from another perspective indeed you are right - nothing is created or destroyed - everything is as I am - for we are two sides of one coin - two aspects of that which cannot be described.

but surely not.

surely not what?

oh, it's so complicated.

then allow it to be simple.

well, how?

you already did. you spoke your mind without thinking too hard, and what you said was what you needed to hear at that moment. instead of emphasising my role in the creation process, you emphasised the isness - that all simply is - and I am part of the all.

just a part?

well yes - unless you feel that I am you.

no, I feel that I'm separate - but I like to imagine that you're in me and I'm a part of you.

then so be it. whatever you imagine is always... you know what I'm getting at. I don't want to stray too far from what you just said, so as regards me being a part - consider me the essence. everything is derived from the essence. every table is recognisable as table, every lion as lion every mouse as mouse because they all grow from their essence. should the lion, the mouse, the table or you choose to reconnect with me - reality is a two way mirror - you are free to do so by looking inwards, by feeling my presence in your essence. feeling it is knowing and knowing is experiencing... it helps you to feel one with me, and also one with yourself, your life, your purpose - and all of creation. in doing so you become that which I am.

no, surely not! how on earth could I become what you are? that's preposterous.

yes, isn't it just - but you know - speaking as god - I love the preposterous. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be. give me the preposterous any day.

but how can a limited being like me become what you are? it's inconceivable.

yes, you've hit the nail on the head - it's certainly inconceivable as long as you consider it preposterous, but as soon as you're willing to accept my logic then it makes perfect sense - no matter how.

go on, if you would.

well, as soon as you allow yourself to sense what you truly are, you cease to be what you are not.

how so?

because what you are not is weak and meaningless compared to what you truly are. so tuning into your isness, your true nature, you lose your fascination for what you are not - and you revert to your natural state - your true nature.

and that's it?

yep, more or less. reverting to your true nature you are more or less instantaneously one with all that is. it's a kind of chain reaction. everything clicks back into place.

is that what they call enlightenment.

kind of, but no. enlightenment is what the remainder see.

what do you mean?

well, when someone becomes what I am, this immediately extends throughout the whole of creation, reconnecting everyone and everything together in a single unity, a single body, an isness of be.

and?

the remainder - the individuals who haven't yet made the connection are given a kind of hologram to fill the gap - to avoid losing their version of reality.

you mean that the whole of creation collapses when I become what you are?

either collapses, or comes together - essentially the entire universe becomes your body as it always was - just you weren't aware of it. now, in order to avoid disruption - your place down below in the hurly burly is filled with a zero, as in maths when you add two numbers together. the zero is needed to prevent space and time collapsing for the remainder - to keep the sum in place.

so I'm substituted by zero because I become whole or complete.

yes - because you become 1, and your zero fills the gap reflecting what you'd naturally do in any given situation.

ok, I can just about handle the mathematics. but still, doesn't it seem terribly presumptuous of me to aspire to be what you are?

for the son to aspire to be what his father is, for the daughter to be what her mother is? on the contrary - it seems quite natural.

but these are just figurative terms.

they are? you could have fooled me.

we're not really your children - we already have our biological parents.

yes - and they have their parents in an endless spiral, and yet, unless you are quite literally my son or daughter, and I am quite literally your father or mother, you are no one or no thing. that's all there is to it.

but why?

because that is the nature of creation. I did not create the rules. I had no need. the rules flow naturally like a golden harmony.

a golden harmony. I like that. but surely you created everything - including the rules.

I had no need. I do as I do. when children are playing it happens naturally. when people start dancing - it's quite natural. when animals rut and mate - likewise. there is such a thing as nature - and it is wonderful. you don't need to fear it or hate it just because it seems to exist independent of what I am - for ultimately all is one. but in order to appreciate this you need to let go of your proud and stubborn insistence that you're not really what I am. you may like to think it's humility, but if you look a little deeper it's because you tried to carve out a niche for yourself that you can call your own - however small - a niche of your own uniqueness and individualism. that uniqueness and individualism which you are secretly so attached to will give you no rest, no peace, no joy, because you had to push yourself off centre in order to achieve it. defending it you are cutting your nose to spite your face and, without realising it, preventing yourself from being what I am.

oh. I never saw it that way.

no - you made sure you never saw it that way by never looking at it. but now you're ready to face the truth, and it's not going to destroy you, so dance with it, play with it, be gay and merry with it, callooh callay with it and chortle in your joy.

Bunkum redux

Yes, the mind has decided to rebel. It happens now and then. Zero equals 1? Come on...

Excellent. We've arrived at the place of total resistance. You have the choice - yes indeed you do - you can freak out and determinate - or you can allow and paradoxicate.

That's a non-existent word - but you get what it means. Coz unless we learn to deal with paradox we may as well shut down our minds completely. Constantly flipping between "no it isn't" and "yes it is" isn't just tiresome, it's inherently destructive.

So let's try the alternative - let's paradoxicate - and this is really easy to do once you know how. It simply requires awareness of the possibility - that instead of jumping off the proverbial fence onto one side or t'other, you can allow the two sides to surround you and start spinning in a toroidal field. You become the centre of paradox, and simply affirm oneness while allowing the zero of absolute isness to open up within. You become the peaceful eye of the storm. You radiate pure love and the entire universe connects into your field of cosmic awareness.

Welcome home starbeing.

Om ;-)

Not God

I've been trying to track down what really matters as opposed to what matters.

- Er...

Yes, well as you've probably realised by now we're living in a world of substitutes.

- Substitutes?

Yeah. They substitute God for not God - but they don't tell you they've made the switch.

- No? They wouldn't really, would they...

No, that would defeat the purpose.

- Er...

So, you think you're dealing with the real thing, but in fact you're dealing with the thing, and it ain't real - it's just thing - pure thing as opposed to purely real.

- Er...

Yeah - but you're not going to work it out unless you're ready to grasp the nettle.

- the...

Nettle. What's real? What really matters? Is this real? If it ain't - it it don't pass the authenticity test then it's fake. Discard. Reject. You're living in a faked out reality of smoke and mirrors. You're being duped. Let it go. It ain't serving you.

- and you know?

You just know - when you're ready to know, if you're willing to grasp the nettle - to get real. Nothing else works. Binning God feels pretty dire but that's the only way you're gunna get the real thing - which is no thing at all - which is as opposed to not.

- Not?

Yep. That's it. Nothing to it.

- Nothing?

Zero equals 1.

- Er... whatever.

OBvious innit?

Kind of obvious if you think about it. They have to equal each other - whatever they are.

- No, can't say I get it...

But don't you see? That's part of it. You're not supposed to - otherwise you wouldn't be the other voice - the odd one out. To my 1 you're zero, and vice versa.

- Er.

Stumped for words, aren't you. Let it go. No need for words - they ain't gunna change anything. Just stay with that magical er... or um... or om... it's all much of a much.

- But...

Easy does it. Easy I says...

- Oh, alright then.